


Machinated Foreign Mercenary vs. the Pfhorces of Bureaucracy

by Hokuto



Category: Marathon (Video Games)
Genre: Bureaucracy, Gen, Minor Original Character(s), Worldbuilding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:47:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21948085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hokuto/pseuds/Hokuto
Summary: Tycho gets roped into Pfhor bureaucracy problems.  It does not go well.
Comments: 11
Kudos: 8
Collections: Seven Days of Marathon 2019





	Machinated Foreign Mercenary vs. the Pfhorces of Bureaucracy

**Author's Note:**

> This title came to me almost the moment I saw the prompt ("Tycho having to deal with petty Pfhor bureaucracy/office drama") SO HOW COULD I RESIST. I just hope the fic can live up to it. XD

Strictly speaking, Tycho was not part of _Cr'etz'ih_'s operating systems at all; for one thing, the systems had biological components that could only be controlled with various Pfhor glandular releases, and for another thing, the Pfhor didn't trust him with that kind of power and he hadn't yet found a way through the blocks they'd set up. He was confined to the limited commands and accesses R'chzne had allowed him, which were useful for making technical suggestions in the experimental laboratory, the petty tyranny of chore assignments for the lowest ranks if they annoyed him, and nothing else.

Some stupid little aggregate was asking for his help anyway.

"- requisitioned three times already," Engineer Some-Class-Or-Other K'all said, "but nothing has been approved for further review by a willful officer. And the area has become very dangerous. Please, machinated mercenary Tycho, if you could see a way to get the plans for the repairs to Willful Captain R'chzne or another willful officer so that the repairs can be made, you would be performing a great service for the crew. And for the greater good and glory of the Pfhor Empire, of course."

As if he gave a single damn about any of those things. Of course. But you must realize I have no authority over these reviews and no control pheromones.

"Yes, machinated mercenary Tycho, but you have many permissions for communication, and the willful officers respect your input. I'm sure they would listen to you if you could convince them how important the repairs are."

That was certainly something Tycho had noticed about the Pfhor: how open and willing they were to suggestions like _you don't need to open my core, please don't_ and _stop, please stop, it hurts please stop_. On the other hand, half of the scientists and technicians normally assigned to the lab were busy with some pathetic religious holiday or other, and work had slowed to a crawl. I'll see what I can do. Don't count on a positive result.

"Thank you so much, machinated mercenary! I will not forget your willingness to help the Empire, even if you are unsuccessful."

Which meant that she would, probably even before he got the repair plans and labor requisitions approved. If he could get them approved. He ran a quick check on the latest version of K'all's paperwork for any obvious flaws, turned up nothing, and submitted it to Attentive Engineering Chief Cr'geer.

It came back five minutes later, stamped _rejection_ with no reason attached. All right, then.

Attentive Engineering Chief Cr'geer \- how irritating Pfhoric was, requiring titles at every address - I humbly query for the reason for the rejection of the repair plan for the left aft weapons systems.

Cr'geer was busily stamping orders for other routine engineering tasks, but she found a few seconds to snap "Incorrect formatting for schematic 7B. Still. Run it by Technician Third Class Jrr'ga before interrupting me again, machinated mercenary" at the terminal.

Fine. He checked the attached schematic 7B again without finding any clues as to what the formatting error might be, repackaged the files, and transferred them to Jrr'ga. Who didn't have the control glands to stamp the proposal _rejected_, but did send them back to Tycho with a note.

Machinated foreign mercenary Tycho, be aware that the attached schematics have the following issues that must be corrected before they can be reviewed by an attentive or willful officer:

—The labeling in schematic 7B is incorrectly formatted. Place the **title** of the schematic in the upper left corner of the schematic and the **legend** in the lower left corner of the schematic.  
—Ensure that the schematic's layers have been rendered correctly, without overlap, so that all dimensions can be properly projected for review.  
—Attach the correct authorization stamp from Attentive Engineer First Class Mn'gr.

Tycho relayed the note to K'all with relief that the task would be out of his duty queue, only for K'all to say, "But, machinated mercenary - I can reformat the schematic, but Engineer First Class Mn'gr is never going to give me the authorization again. At least, he can't today because he's celebrating the festival of Rasriera, but even if he wasn't celebrating, he's reprimanded me several times for incorrectly labeling schematics and would just tell me to give up on this requisition."

_Then perhaps you should consider LEARNING HOW TO FORMAT #%*@!ng SCHEMATICS ALREADY_, thought part of Tycho that would absolutely get conditioned to hell and back if he expressed the sentiment to K'all. And that sounded a little too much like someone else, anyway. Are there any other attentive engineers first class who could provide an authorization stamp and aren't celebrating the festival of Rasriera?

"Engineer First Class Ie'eer - no, he's off-duty and he won't be here for another five hours, and I'll be in mandatory drills then. Maybe Engineer First Class Chr'eer? But she's in another section..."

Reformat schematic 7B. I will contact Engineer First Class Chr'eer once you are finished. And if her stamp wasn't good enough for Jrr'ga, Tycho would restructure the entire damnable engineering department to make it good enough.

"Yes, machinated mercenary."

The process of reformatting the schematic took an objective sixteen minutes and twenty-four seconds, each millisecond of which stretched out like a day for Tycho. When K'all was finally done, Tycho replace the old version of the schematic with the new and dumped the whole package in Chr'eer's work queue so that he could continue to wait. And wait. And _wait_. Engineer First Class Chr'eer was a busy Pfhor.

When the files came back with another unexplained _stamp: rejection_, Tycho could have howled like a hunter.

He took a few seconds to compose himself and reorganize K'all's duty schedule to include a hearty helping of wasp feeding; then he used one of his few authorized accesses to bypass Chr'eer's backlog of messages. Appropriate heading, appropriate subject line. Engineer First Class Chr'eer, could you explain why a perfectly formatted repair and labor request has been rejected?

"Mn'gr warned me that Engineer Third Class K'all had a lesson to learn," Chr'eer said, directing two aggregates to a waste line that needed cleaning. "Besides, Technician Second Class K'olza submitted a correctly formatted and more efficient repair plan seventeen minutes earlier than the timestamp on Engineer Third Class K'all's proposal. But your thoroughness in pursuing the matter has been noted, machinated mercenary."

He noticed that she hadn't mentioned whether that was to his credit or his detriment. Not that it mattered.

K'all was still standing at her terminal expectantly. If only Tycho had the permissions to dump her into space or send her for official termination. He had to settle for a curt, Your request has been rejected, but another technician has taken care of the repair problem, with her revised schedule attached, and then he cut himself off from everything but the experimental laboratory.

Short-staffed or not, some quality time plotting Durandal's demise was what he really needed to salvage the day.


End file.
